Oh wait, you don’t even know what a #humblebrag is?  Well since you’ve crawled out from under your rock and got on the internet, let me enlighten you.  </sarcasm>  (I haven’t expected this to catch on yet, so its actually acceptable you don’t know what it is yet. Also, I generally still hate twitter where this is the most prevalent, though facebook comes in a very, very close second)

From the original piece written by Harris Wittels:

“A Humblebrag is basically a specific type of bragging which masks the brag in a faux-humble guise. The false humility allows the offender to boast their “achievements” without any sense of shame or guilt. Unfortunately/fortunately, Humblebragging is very commonly used in our society, and for some reason Twitter seems to be the perfect forum for people to do it. So, about a year ago, instead of just silently griping about it to myself, I gave it a name and started an account on Twitter on which I retweet Twitter’s most flagrant Humblebraggers (www.twitter.com/humblebrag).”

</sarcasm>

I feel like if you didn’t realize that constantly, publicly, announcing your location was grounds for being robbed raped and pillaged (arrr!) then you are and idiot.  I understand there are probably arguments out there against this being an issue, but what it all comes down to is making yourself an easy target.  You can say “well people can break in whenever they want” or “if they really want to steal from me they will be able to just see when I leave.”   This is true unless you are a CEO, famous athlete, JHM, etc and thus more of a target than a normal person.  Outside of fitting into that criteria, why should a person bother to care that other people know their name, address, when they are home, or other things?

Well.. if I am looking for a place to steal shit from, and there are two houses on a block, one with a sign on it that says “no one is home!” and one that has nothing posted.. which one will I go to?  Yeah, exactly.  A bit of an exaggerated point, but if you narrow your twitter feed, looking for people in a specific region that aren’t home, then use their twitter account to find their facebook, linked in, google account or anywhere else their address is posted.. you now have an open invite and can probably figure out exactly how much time you have to peruse their belongings based on where they are “checked in.”  Or, the best status message, “in Hawaii for a week!” shows them they have an entire week to scope the place out and pick the best time to walk in to steal your shit.

Everyone should furthermore appreciate this stupidity in light of how just a few short years ago everyone was worried about posting their LAST NAME online somewhere.. let alone addresses or phone numbers.  Amazing how we went from being tentative to state our last name on a profile or IM account, for fear they could look us up in a phone book.  <- remember those? I do, because they still freaking come to my house. But I digress, that is an argument for another day.

So we’ve moved from that mentality briskly into announcing every piece of contact information about ourselves and on top of that where we are at all times!  Besides being robbed, if a dude (you might not even know them, maybe they found your pic online and liked what they saw) wants to stalk you, find you at a bar or whatever, you are paving the road for them.  Nicely done.

I must be taking crazy pills here but I can’t be the only one who realizes how stupid this is right?!  People gobble shit shit up as soon as the newest ‘social networking app’ is released.  Immediately adopting allows them to be on the forefront of whatever, and cooler cause they can say ‘oh I’ve been using it for months, its awesome you should check it out.’  Other reasons I can think of for using these apps in this manner include but are not limited to, bragging about what they are doing (I include myself amongst people guilty of this) and ‘everyone else doing it.’

I know there are probably more arguments against my point of view, so let me have it, I’m interested.  (And “getting points” or “being a mayor” on foursquare does not count.)

Anywho, on to the stupidity:

Jogger injured after using Twitter as he ran
—————————————
“Some dude tweets (and Facebooks) his vacation plans then heads out of town. While he’s gone, someone breaks into his house and steals his computer. Surprise! This guy a) has too many non-friends on Facebook and b) is real fast and loose with his home address. Reminds me of when I was in high school and was too cool to lock my car, even though everyone could hear my boomin’ Kenwood speaker system. Guess what—it got stolen! Use your head, don’t beg people to steal your shit.” gizmodo.com
—————————————
And last but not least, one of the least shocking revelations of all time, right up there with “Earlier this year an insurance company revealed the dangers of twittering whilst driving.” from the running article.
10% Of Twitter Users Account For 90% Of Twitter Activity
Which seems to be 100% in line with what happens when I open my account. This also applies to facebook, though facebook is certainly worse what with the quizzes and surveys that clog my newsfeed. But I digress. About 10% of the people I know on there have posted hundreds of things about their lunch, sleeping, going for a run, walking down the stairs, going to the bathroom, etc etc while most people have only posted a couple of meaningful things I’m actually interested in that are downed out but all the posts I wish I hadn’t wasted the brain power reading.

http://twitter.com/THE_REAL_SHAQ
Andy, to me:
Jesus. It must be his fucking cousin, or infant child or something.
me, to Andy:
I actually didn’t mind twitter at first, I didn’t understand it (it’s basically away messages, same as facebook, AIM, gchat, right?) but without the additional usefulness of those applications. Am I missing something? But after seeing it become “mainstream” as in everyone freaking out and talking about it, I kind of hate it, because its in my face all the time. And now famous people use it, and are either idiots themselves revealed on it, or idiots for having other idiots write for them. Brutal.
Andy, to me:
That’s what I’m saying. It has clearly jumped the shark several times over. Fact: if Britney Spears thinks something is cool, it’s bad for society and an insult to the intelligence of mankind. Britney Spears thinks twitter is cool. Or at least her publicist does, which I think is just as bad.

But generally, what is the point? To see what other people are doing all the time (who cares?) To tell people what you’re doing all the time (who cares?) Can you put up a “tweet” that just reads, “reading tweets”, or will the whole system explode?

Theoretically, isn’t that what everyone’s doing when they’re on twitter, so realistically everyone’s message should read the same thing, making twitter no longer relevant? If everyone has a truthful away message that reads, “reading away messages,” then nobody’s communicating and the system becomes obsolete. This is all very philosophical, but I think it applies here.

http://twitter.com/paulpierce34

http://barstoolsports.com/randomthoughts/2009/03/29/paul_pierce_gives_away_celtics/

Part of me doesn’t even want to read these athlete’s posts because of the grammar and spelling (akin to that of a 16 year old female, lol!) but at the same time, like a car wreck, I can’t look away.

——————————————————–
RB3′s response:

Rob Brawders to me, Dave
Ahh, twitter and basketball… Both of those are on my “to don’t” list right near “get cancer” and “buy a japanese car.”

——————————————————–
Andy’s feelings:

Yeah, twitter is just too much. I signed up for twitter out of curiosity, but then realized what it was and never looked back.

Sidenote: Did you know many athletes and celebrities on twitter actually employ ghost writers to create their entries? It’s absolutely true. Clearly, Paul Pierce does not, but Shaq and Britney Spears, for example, have people that write their entries for them. Part of me actually prefers it that way, as it’s employment for a writer and thus more likely to be grammatically correct. But generally, I think it’s unequivocal proof that twitter has jumped the shark and officially become the most retarded technology imaginable.

———————————————————–
Rob, to Andy:
Shaq did the ticket giveaway as well- and for Pierce he could still have a ghost writer, that doesn’t mean he can’t give away tickets and tell the writer to post about it (or even maybe the other way around, if the writer suggests it for proof).