Hey, everybody, get a load of this, you’re never gonna believe what’s going on here. Alert the fucking media because there is a fucking truck parked right. fucking. here.

What kind of truck is that? A Chrysler? It’s probably a Chrysler. Fuck yeah.

What kind of mileage you get in that Chrysler? I get 25. A truck like that probably gets a fucking thousand.

Loadin’ that baby up with bags, huh? Probably like, equipment and stuff. Like cleats and socks and batting donuts. That kind of shit. That’s fucking awesome.

I can’t believe that truck’s full of fucking batting helmets. That’s the greatest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

I can’t wait till some guy drives that fucking Chrysler down to Florida, and then fucking unloads all those fucking baseballs. That’s gonna be tits.

My balls ascended into my body cavity just thinking about unpacking that fucking equipment, probably ’cause they want to get up to where my eyes are so they can check out this fucking truck.

Fuck! Spring training. FUCK. Can’t wait to see the first live footage of fat Josh Beckett laughing during light stretching with fat John Lackey.

Now back to the truck.