An entertaining article on various countries bid to saddle their city with the burden of hosting the Olympics in 2016:

Chicago: The Windy City is the money-line favorite to win the Games and Chicagoans probably think that hosting an Olympics would lift them into the elite category of world class cities. They would be wrong. (Does Atlanta strike you as a cosmopolitanism world capital?) Plus, why would you want to be a world-class city? The only positive that could possibly come out of this is a fancy new subway system (even that’s a big IF) and that only makes you a more attractive target for terrorist attacks. Actually, that’s probably why our Muslim traitor president is pushing so hard for them. No thanks.

Rio de Janeiro: It’s not going to happen for Chicago, however, because Rio is the upset special. Why? One: Everyone hates America. Two: There have been only two Olympics in the Southern Hemisphere and both were in Australia. Three: It would be the first Olympics in South America, a continent that is sadly overlooked by people who are not addicted to cocaine. Four: The future Olympic Stadium will make an excellent favela when the Games are over.

Yes, the hyper-violent gang wars and soul crushing poverty are definite PR obstacles, but that’s what they said about South Africa and look how well the World Cup turned out! The only question is: Can the IOC grift more money from the corrupt rulers of a lawless third-world backwater … or from Brazil.

The tipping point? Carnival! It’s Rio in a squeaker. Not that any that of this matters since none of us will be around to see 2016 anyway. Thanks a lot, Mayans.

-Deadspin