Poor Decisions » idiot

Emails from Andy

Rob — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 01:23:06 +0000

Animal Lover Mourns Idiot Animal: The Sequel

Sometime before the summer I vaguely recall writing angrily to you about the woman I work with who took a half-day off of work to escort a bird who had flown into the side of our building to an animal hospital a half hour away. Instead of working, she rushed a disease-ridden bird to an animal emergency room, where they informed her that the bird was merely stunned from the unexpected collision, needed no medical attention at all, and probably should have been left alone from the outset. Nice work.
In any case, apparently sensing that enough time had passed where another impractical act of legitimate lunacy might go unnoticed by management, this woman has now taken a full day off work to grieve the unceremonious passing of a fish. True story.
Months ago, one of the kids I work with purchased a small, half gallon fish tank and a proportionately puny betta fish (think Turkey Sub [beta fish Andy and I had in college], but half the size), which, due to the severity of the cold and darkness in his office, promptly grew sickly and weak. Due to some holiday in which Orthodox Jews aren’t allowed to have fish or animals (or something, I dunno) in their presence, he transferred the tank to my office, where it is comparatively warm, safe and awesome. Predictably, the fish thrived, growing healthy and colorful beneath my protective umbrella of ample food and clean, temperate water.
Flash forward to yesterday, when the rightful owner of said fish finally purchases a suitable heat lamp, and wishes to take it back. Fine; I’d grown tired of changing its water and watching it feast on its own shit all day, anyway.
So the exchange is made, and he brings the tank (and fish) into the break room to give the tank its monthly thorough cleaning. For whatever reason, instead of scooping the fish out and setting it aside, he chooses to literally pour the fish out of the tank and into a waiting cup in the sink. Naturally, he misses the cup entirely, and slips the fish into the sink instead, where it gets stuck, vertically, face down in the drain grate.
Squeamish at the thought of touching the fish with his bare hands, he grabs a spoon, and tries to pry it from the drain to relative safety. The aforementioned bird savior walks in the break room just in time to watch him lose the betta down the drain, presumably dead.
She screams, and verbally assaults him for being so careless before storming from the room. “A life is a life!” she bellowed upon hearing he and I laugh over the relative irony of the situation afterwards.
She would spend the rest of the afternoon literally sobbing into a tissue at her desk, refusing to speak to anyone.
She would also call in this morning, claiming that she didn’t “feel up to coming to work today”.

WTF RAINBOWS?!

Rob — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 15:04:28 +0000

We as a nation, have got to ask ourselves, what is oozing out of our ground. Pretty messed up when rainbows are just showing up randomly in sprays of water, can’t be natural.

Thanks to Andy for the informative video, make sure to contact your senator and ask about these terrifying phenomena.

Poor Decision: Driving into a Stoplight

aspextrme — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 14:08:12 +0000

Driving fail: FedEx guy crushed the stop light by trying to cut the corner outside our office.
Entertainment win: both crossing signals are now facing same way and still work so people keep getting confused about when to cross.

1044

Rob — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 16:16:21 +0000

Seriously? People can still back this person? How can anyone think she can run a country! She has to write basic things on her hand to remember them! Brutal.

Thanks to Andy for the frustrating link, I guess.

Idiocy Continues in the World

Rob — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 16:18:28 +0000

I was afraid that while gone for my vacation there wouldn’t be anyone doing dumb ass things when I got back for me to post on here. Just kidding, that is just about the last thing I was worried about. Anyway, here is something good; dude strapping a muffler full of gasoline and gunpowder to his back as a ‘rocket booster’ while on his sled. Can’t see where this would go wrong.

Man hurt using explosives in backyard sledding stunt

Oh Boston..

Rob — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 14:45:39 +0000

“Rare footage of salmon returning to spawn at the Garden”

Thanks to Liz for the link.

The Beauty of Facebook..

Rob — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 19:55:31 +0000

I love when stuff like this comes up, I know I can be offensive, but I’m nowhere as public a figure as even a college football lineman is.. wait a minute.. I think I just got really sad. Well, if it is any consolation to myself or anyone else, he is in fact, an idiot:

Yes, Jimbo, you are right, Africa only has AIDS and nothing else at all. Also, you are dating a girl named Sunshine. Sounds about right. Go Florida!

http://www.sportingnews.com/blog/the_sporting_blog/entry/view/15559/ufs_tartt_is_unaware_of_africas_many_exports

Tubing Fail

Rob — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 15:33:45 +0000