From Andy:
In the event a part of you wondered whether or not this country was doomed, I submit this (if you can’t read it, JDRF is the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation):
Thanks to Katie for this guide to help you decide how fat you want to be while in or around a mall.

Thanks to Sarah for discovering the new best way to get in shape, instead of maintaining a steady, healthy diet or actually running / playing sports / going to the gym, you can get shake weights! In only six minutes a day you can get into shape! To think, I’ve been spending closer to an hour every day exercising, what a waste! I could be using that time to eat chocolate ice cream, and watch TV! I’m such an idiot! Finally I needn’t waste anymore time, thanks to Sarah pointing me in the direction of this magical device. I already bought ten!
p.s. you know a product is good when its site consists of a single page, with no real details and about 100 “buy here!” links, not to mention the actual purchasing form is on the landing (slash only) page.
p.p.s. as much as this site and product are totally ridiculous, I’m glad things like this exist in the world to extort money from undeserving people. It’s like modern Darwinism, or pretty much the closest thing to it I guess.
If this isn’t a testament to the fatness of our country I don’t know what is. On the other hand, my curiosity is piqued.. In the end, I think the idea of it is enough to make me want to vomit. Let alone applying it to a sandwich I will then consume. If I want to be fat, I think I’ll just go for the real thing.
http://www.baconnaise.com/
John pointed me at this awful website which manufactures toilets for overweight people. If you’re obese you can buy this or you could, you know, “go to the gym,” or “eat less.”

http://www.greatjohn.com/index.html