7. Stanford
If we have to watch one more blow-dried ESPN analyst splooge on his houndstooth blazer as he rhapsodizes about the smart, hardnosed brand of football played by thick-necked white running backs who also major in biotech, we’re going to start a social media platform!
A special message from one of my favorite writers at Deadspin, Drew Magary:
“Success stories are boring, pointless, enraging, and almost always gloss over the most critical details of a person’s success. “After graduating from Harvard, I bummed around for a bit. Then, I managed to get a writing job over atSaturday Night Live…” Wait, what? WHAT THE FUCK?! How the fuck did that just happen? People spend entire lives trying to land that kind of job, and you just got it? I FUCKING HATE YOU NOW.”
http://deadspin.com/5798633/a-special-graduation-message-to-the-class-of-2011
I can’t really say it better than Deadspin did, so I’m just going to copy and paste what they said about this image:
“Everything about this picture is ideal: facial expressions, hand gestures, and, especially, telestrator dong placement (TDP). Why, this telestrator dong was so perfect, The Daily Show got in on the fun. Video after the jump.
If you haven’t figured it out, the image occurred on CNN during a marathon session of coverage on the unidentified-missile-type-thing that was all the rage yesterday.
If giant sky cocks existed, everyday would be a double rainbow day around here and cloud fetishists would be considered even bigger weirdos.” -deadspin
No words necessary. Thanks Deadspin.
This story, before any media coverage, is by default hilarious. Pretty sure this signals the beginning of the end of civilization when we have to bring in gender tests to sports. Anyways, wasn’t going to post anything on this, despite the story’s innate awesome-ness but this paragraph on deadspin was just too good to pass up:
Androgynous distance runner Caster Semenya has won the 800 final at the track and field world championships, shaving more than a second off the year’s fastest time as if it were an unwanted penis.”
Some pretty funny snippets from the deadspin review of Madden 10:
“Aside from the graphics being just … wow … the franchise options are completely over top. I can barely manage my own personal finances, and now I’m supposed to figure out the nuances of the NFL salary caps rules? I’m negotiating contracts with fake Plaxico Burress? He’s not even allowed to play real football and he’s playing hardball with me. All the headaches and sleepless nights that come with owning a real NFL franchise can be yours!
Of course, if you get off on that stuff (and you probably do) then you are in heaven. One major addition to the game this year, is that you and your friends can create a full online league—a full schedule of head-to-head games, playoffs, trades, stats, even a draft—for up to 32 teams. Do you even have 31 friends?”
“I got crushed in every round I played on “Pro” mode, and that’s the second easiest setting. If, like me, you lack a wide-screen TV, running any kind of passing offense is a major challenge and it doesn’t matter because you’re going to get sacked on every play anyway.”
