Posts Tagged ‘Andy’

Pierce Pwns Kid in Lebron Jersey

Friday, March 13th, 2009



Email to Andy in response:
“Yeah I saw that, and its fantastic. Stupid fat kid learned an important lesson that day; he sucks.”
Andy:
“You’re right. I bet it wasn’t because of the Lebron jersey. I bet it was because he’s fat. Lesson learned.

My favorite part is that he emphatically slapped his dad’s hand, leading to what I can only imagine was an uncomfortable exchange on the ride home.”
Me:
dad: “did you see that?! slapping lebron’s hand was AWESOME!”
kid: “i’m really sad that i didn’t get to slap his hand.”
dad: “you’re fat, get used to be sad a lot in life.”
Andy:
Mom: “How was the game??”
Dad: “Unbelievable!”
Son: (sobbing… gunshot)

Update from the ‘States

Sunday, March 1st, 2009

Thanks to Andy for keeping me in the loop:

“Pats sign Fred Taylor; trade Vrabel to KC for a draft pick.
Celts sign Mikki Moore and Marbury.
We’re all gonna lose our jobs and die penniless in the street.
You’re pretty much up to speed.”

Spring Training!

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

Andy’s take on the spring training coverage:
“Legitimately, is there anything less interesting than Spring Training? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love baseball, and the prospect of the Sox playing again is exciting, but why does anyone actually bother reporting from Ft. Meyers? How is this news? It’s the same fucking thing every year.

I’m convinced it’s all just an elaborate scheme perpetuated by unions to give writers and reporters a paid-vacation every year.

Think about it: every picture in the paper, and every piece of footage on TV has been literally shown a million times by now: Guys carrying bags into clubhouse. Guys walking past supportive fans onto field. Guys standing around. Light jogging. Guys playing catch. Florida sun reflecting off Terry Francona’s press-conference skull.

That’s your next two months, and if they showed you last year’s footage instead, would you even know? I mean, next to the blatant homo-eroticism, it’s the thing I hate most about professional baseball.

Major league baseball. Get excited.”

Starbury, ugh.

Friday, January 2nd, 2009

“Speculation is that as soon as he opts out of his current contract, Stephon Marbury will sign with the Celts.

As rocky as his performance in the playoffs was, I don’t think last year’s Cassell signing was a complete loss (he did help them win in San Antonio), but this seems far more terrifying. It’s like intentionally injecting yourself with the hypodermic needle I found in the parking lot next to my car last week, just to see if being a diabetic is as tough as everyone says.”

-Andy