Archive for the ‘Andy's Rants’ Category

Robots & Fear: Just the Facts.

Monday, September 21st, 2009

And now, a collection of various emails between myself and Andy rationally displaying why everyone should be terrified of the impending robotic apocalypse. Organized by each article that shows the varying ways we are going to lose control and then be attacked by our own creations.

Insect Sized Robots
me:
now you might not even notice the robots before they kill you:
http://gizmodo.com/5347909/army-of-flea+sized-robots-to-do-our-bidding-in-the-future

andy:
I hate insects and robots, so I guess it was just a matter of time. Short of spying, surveillance and entering our brains through the small holes in our head, I don’t really see the usefulness of a such a breakthrough.
Robots That Power Themselves By Eating Human Bodies
me:
This one just seems to be the most ridiculous and set up for disaster, robots that power themselves by eating people. Kidding about actually becoming self aware aside, what happens when a program bug causes a machine to realize it needs ‘fuel’ (aka people) and this overrides whatever thing tells it to not eat LIVE people, and it starts mowing down whomever is misfortunate enough to be nearby at the time.
Here are two of my favorite lines from the article:
“And, if the machines can’t find enough dead people to eat, they can always make new ones.”
“Researchers seem to get a kick out of ensuring the demise of the human species, so the project is called the Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot, or EATR.”
http://www.wired.com/underwire/2009/07/military-researchers-develop-corpse-eating-robots/

Becoming Self Aware / Us Losing Control Over Them
article summary:
MQ-9 Reaper UAV fail-safe programming failed, and the US Air Force shot it down with a manned plane, which isn’t uncommon. Unmanned Aerial Vehicles are supposed to return to their home if they lose contact with their pilots, no explanation why this didn’t kick in. Worth noting they are armed, called “Reapers” and programmed to kill people on the ground.
me:
Getting more afraid?
http://gizmodo.com/5359382/runaway-drone-shot-out-of-sky

andy:
Point of clarification: it’s not like I’m living in continuous, debilitating fear of my own impending death by technology. Quite the contrary, I embrace new technology. I’d like a robot vacuum as much as anyone. I hug my playstation more than my own girlfriend (it plays high-def movies in brilliant 1080p, she, sadly, does not).

That being said, I don’t see how it’s possible to ignore the writing on the wall. Consider how far technology has progressed in the last ten years alone. It’s a staggering pace that figures to see limitless increase over the next decade. You know this to be true better than anyone (what’s the statistic; processing speed practically doubles every six months or something?).

Furthermore, the fact is, any modern advancements that trickle down to the consumer market have been either initially created or implemented years earlier by the military. (Halfway recap: technology advancing at unfathomable rate; utilized and perfected by military for killing purposes years before it’s released to the public).

If robots and computers were infallible, there would be no need for computer and software repair, unmanned drones would not go dead and need to be shot out of the sky and the technological world would function in beautiful harmony. Clearly, it does not; shit breaks constantly, and often for no logical reason.

So we have increasingly intelligent, computer-based robots and systems, initially designed for murdering people, which have a propensity for functioning erratically, unexpectedly or not at all.

Let’s apply that concept to the article I sent you about the unmanned tank that runs on organic material and the bodies of dead soldiers. By this logic, should such a contraption go rogue, man has designed, built and unleashed a reinforced metal tank that runs on human flesh, correct? And it’s up to this erratic computer to decide what’s alive and what isn’t? A computer has no sense of consciousness; it, by nature, cannot make such a determination.

The unmanned drones require a human pilot. How long until they’re programmed to seek and destroy on their own? Less than five years? Will they still need to be shot from the sky when we lose control of them, and if so, wouldn’t they be programmed to recognize danger and take all precautions to eliminate it?

It’s not a question of irrational fear. I’m actually being quite logical here. It’s merely a question of who is the first to die by the hand or gun of an autonomous robot, and when will that be? I suggest it’s within our lifetimes, and feasibly, within the next decade.

And there you have it people. Robots ruling the world, only a question of how and when.. not if. Fact.

nerd humor

Tuesday, July 21st, 2009

Estimation

Andy’s Transformers 2 Review

Monday, July 20th, 2009

When I asked him if I should go see it, this is the response I received:

“Go see it, I dare you. Michael Bay could have done less damage to my youth with a time machine and a pedophile.”

Andy’s Fears Coming True

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

For as long as I’ve known him, Andy has had a growing fear of a robotic overthrow.  We, humans, are constantly developing increasingly autonomous, deadly robots to help us with everything from making toast to destroying towns in other countries.  Recently his concerns appear to be more justifiable, as I got this email from him today:

—————

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/15/military-eatr-contractor_n_233467.html

WHO’S CRAZY NOW?

—————

This might be one of the first times I’m on board with him.  Doesn’t anyone else think it’s a bad idea to release a robot that can wander around on its own consuming people, puppies, kittens, etc for “months, even years, without having to be refueled or serviced.” ?

Facts, by Andy.

Monday, June 15th, 2009

NBA Champion:


Not NBA Champion:

Andy Gets Served

Thursday, April 9th, 2009

Email from Andy:

“I think I was an unwilling participant in a freestyle rap battle last night. I’m still not really sure what happened, it all went down so quickly.

I’ve developed a number of superficial relationships at the gym. I say superficial because they’ve never gone beyond a subtle nod of the head, or a passing “hey, what’s up?”. At most, I prefer to only engage in gym conversations that can be held while walking in opposite directions.

Generally it works well for me, unless I get pinned down by a talker (sidenote: I find that talkers are almost always nude, which ultimately just makes conversation infinitely more difficult – where can I look, you know? I’m not interested in eye contact with a nude man, and I certainly can’t just look down in the vicinity of a rogue coinpurse. I end up just staring straight ahead at something inanimate, like I’m looking through one of those 3D magic eye pictures). In any case, last night I was pinned, and it quickly spiraled out of control.

While walking by the check-in desk, I encountered a kid with whom I share one of these relationships. Until last night, we were on a strict, “hey, what’s up?” basis, which I had thought we were both comfortable with. But, on this fateful night, he decided instead to explain to me precisely “what was up”.

“Not much man… just workin’ on my slam poetry.”

What? I should have just walked away. It would have been so easy. But I had never heard such an awkward and equally unexpected answer to such an innocuous greeting before. It was so contrived, like he was waiting for somebody to ask him; like he had set the trap, and as the unwitting white fool that I am, I had just taken the bait.

I slowed, and I think made some kind of noise. Not a word, or a question of any kind – more of a confused grunt (“guh?”). But it didn’t matter. All he required was my brief pause before launching into a verse of debilitating freestyle rap/slam poetry directed at me.

I wish so hard I could remember word for word what was said. I can tell you that it lasted maybe twenty seconds, and that at one point my need of a haircut was mentioned (paraphrasing, but as close as I can remember: “I tell you how it is, you gonna cry, ‘what?’, I’m-a tell you ‘white boy go and get a hair cut.’”).

He ended it with something close to, “don’t try and fight my rhymes, I spit truth like others drop dimes,” at which point he proceeded to actually drop change from his hand onto the gym desk. He used PROPS, Rob.

I know it sounds too absurd to be true, but I assure you it was all too real. And I can probably say with confident certainty that it was one of the more surreal moments in my recent life.

And when it was over, I had nothing to say. It was like I inadvertently wandered into the first half of “8 Mile,” or at least the parts where he’s frozen on stage, vomiting and watching his girlfriend cheat on him. Not since I accidentally went to an LA comedy club on “Latino Night” have I felt so white, and so out of my element.

Ultimately, I laughed and we exchanged pleasant goodbyes as if it weren’t the most retarded situation I’ve ever been a part of. But inside, I knew things would be different for me from then on. You don’t lose a rap battle (even one you don’t know you’re a part of) and emerge the same person. You just don’t.

Needless to say, until the rematch, I’m just workin’ on my slam poetry.”

Oh Boston..

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009

“Rare footage of salmon returning to spawn at the Garden”



Thanks to Liz for the link.

Depressing Article of the Day: Monday

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

Thanks to Andy to providing me with a depressing start to the week. I get Rolling Stone sent to me, no clue why or when it started arriving, but I never read it cause it has not once provided me with an interesting article worth the calories burned turning the magazine’s pages. Anyways, I obviously missed this article over the past week and continued on in my life, blissfully ignorant until my rude awaking via an email from Andy in my Gmail inbox this morning. Now I’m putting this out there since I had to read it and be more informed (more and more these days informed seems to equate to depressed). Anyways, Andy probably described it best:

“A long, depressing, complicated and brutally infuriating article that’s unfortunately worth the read. I’m better informed, but a part of me wishes I wasn’t.”

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/26793903/the_big_takeover

In China, This Has Different Meaning

Friday, March 6th, 2009



If I don’t make it back from China, this post will probably be why.

How *Not* to Electronically Rob a Bank

Friday, March 6th, 2009

Step by step instructions found here.

Being caught on camera, screwing up once and then going back to try a SECOND time are all good ways to get in trouble robbing a bank. So, next time you attempt electronic robbery of a financial institution remember what not to as dictated by Gizmodo.